Tuesday, February 28, 2006


A new day, a new look.

Earlier today I decided it was time to give the ol' B Movie Writers blog a quickie facelift. Something a little different, to reflect the fact that we've transitioned from The Age Of Siege into something new.

Producer Dude dropped us a note today. The money, which is in some kinda offshore escrow thingie, has been approved for release. So, though it won't be in anyone's hands for a couple of weeks, Producer Dude is going to put the finishing touches on the contracts we negotiated months ago. The ball is almost, kinda, sorta, not quite, but not quite not, rolling.

And rolling is good.

The only real downside is that I'm starting to worry about the start date for the actual production. Its looking like it may well creep into May, versus April. I've been really looking forward to visiting the set, as this will be my first produced screenplay and all. However, in May I have to do some overseas travel to attend a family wedding. The kind of thing I can't miss. So, we'll have to see how the timing plays out, but I'd certainly be bummed if the two clash so completely as to prevent me from visiting the set.

I've also heard unofficial casting rumblings. It sounds like they've all but nailed down the "NAME" actor for our little flick. We can't tell you yet who it is, but I will reveal that its a name you've almost certainly heard before.

In other news, we've temporarily shelved the Horror Movie Concept. Dave came to me late last week with the first 20 pages of something he dreamt about. I still really dig the horror concept, but what he's come up with looks like it could be a lot of fun to write, and since he's excited about it, I think it'll get our creative juices flowing, which could make for a nice transition to the Horror Flick once this is done. I'll let Dave share more about the concept with you, but it has lots of potential for fun, action, and chills. And it'll definitely fit our b-move oeuvre.

Plenty more on that in future posts.

A new day, a new look, and a new creative concept. Exciting, no?!


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Saturday, February 25, 2006

So Close You Can Taste It

Another day, another email from Producer Dude saying we're close.

Actually, to give credit where credit is due, Producer Dude has been on the same timeline for some time now- money arrives beginning of March. It's just that the beginning of March is getting closer and closer. And he's not moving on that date, so the closer we get, the more likely that it's real.

But we won't know until it hits and things roll or they don't roll.

In a spark of giddiness, Charlie and I considered giving Producer Dude the script. They want to get into Pre-Production ASAP, still hoping to shoot in April, the earlier they have the script, know what they're working on, the better.

But in the end we held fast to our cojones (is that spelled right?) and didn't give him the script. And the fact that Producer Dude specifically said to us "DON'T GIVE ME THE SCRIPT UNTIL I GIVE YOU MONEY" earlier today was only PART of the reason we held firm.

After all of this, what will we do if it actually happens? Money arrives, checks don't bounce, film is made. Then what? Do we make another? If you listen to Producer Dude, he speaks of funding many pics a year, larger and larger budgets meaning larger and larger payouts to us literary knock-off types. It sounds sweet. It sounds nice.

But then it's Producer Dude. And he has the tongue of honey.

On the other hand, he HAS already made three films. Siege would be film #4. He's creating a track record, no doubt. So there's some truth in them thar hills.

It's one thing to say "We're gonna write the next movie for ourselves. Shop it around. Sell it for real money." But do you know HOW HARD THAT IS? There are THOUSANDS of scripts, scratch that, MILLIONS, floating around. It's who you know. And right now, Charlie has some contacts, and I know... Producer Dude. And Producer Dude makes my films.

All is moot, for the moment. But if March arrives and brings cash-cash, the sky's the limit.

Friday, February 24, 2006

I've got a dirty secret...

Last night I had a couple of glasses of wine too many.

Afterward I did something I feel really bad about. It makes me feel dirty just thinking about it, the day after, but it was soooo good.

And I can't believe I would have made the mistake of giving in to someone who's treated me so poorly in the past.

But, oh, its soo good.

Yes... I've been naughty. I've been watching American Idol.

Yes. The same American Idol that stole Ryan Seacrest away from the woulda-been radio juggernaut "Convince Me Countdown." The same American Idol that distracted Freemantle Media from the series I sold them, "DateNight USA."

But... DAMN American Idol is good TV. I just eat it all up. Every second of it.

So here ya go. I'm calling it early. Before they ever kick out the first kid. My predictions for the final 12. Once they get to the final 12, I'll be bold and share my GRAND WINNER prediction with ya'll.

- Ace (swoon)
- Taylor Hicks (does he realize he's not an 80 year old black man with palsy?)
- Chris Daughtry (the requisite rocker)
- Will Makar (the young-ish cute Bobby Brady one... he'll knock out Kevin for the little girl vote)
- Elliot Yamin (has there ever been an uglier AI contestant, who still sounds great?)
- Patrick Hall (who won't last long, but by virtue of being a dead ringer for The Great Gazoo will be around for a bit)

- Becky O'Donohue (I can only pray for a Playboy pictorial once she gets booted)
- Katharine McPhee (she looks like the younger, gentler, less-sullied Katie Holmes, and can sing damn good)
- Kellie Pickler (who's Daddy is in jail and who's mamma says she can sing like an angel)
- Paris Bennett (who'll be around for a LONG time to come)
- Mandisa (one person's name, 5 people's butts)
- Lisa Tucker (the ingenue)

Who do YOU think's gonna make it?


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Monday, February 20, 2006

An. Tici. Pation.

As you can tell by the semi-drought in recent postings, things are in a bit of a lull.

The financing for SIEGE is in the final throes of birth, and should come through any day now. At least once a week, PRODUCER DUDE IM's one or the both of us and assures us as much. If I had a nickel for every time the financing's been days away from closing... well... I could finance this bloody movie!

Anyhow... once the money clears, we'll get paid, they'll read the script, and then we'll work on rewrites. Honestly, given the timeframe, I don't think they'll be too drastic. I mean... its essentially the last week of February, and they're planning to shoot in April. That leaves ONE MONTH for pre-pro, rewrites, casting, etc, etc, etc, etc, if they stay on schedule (and that's a HUGE "if" at this point, if you ask me). So, really, how much time could they really have to focus on the script?

But... then... you already know this, right, because we're pretty much been in this position for 3 months now, and you've heard this story before.

As for the unnamed horror script... we've continued to flush out the concept through periodic email and IM exchanges, but rolling on it has yet to really "take root." Dave's been pretty slammed with non-writing stuff, but as soon as he gives me the green light, I think we'll be ready to crank up the heat on it.

In short... nothing new to report, really, but I felt bad that it'd been a week since we last posted. And though I wracked my wee brain this morning, I couldn't think of a decent ol' Hollywood story to tell. Sadly, American Idol hasn't f-ed me over lately, leaving me with a dearth of Ryan Seacrest related stories.

Bo Bice - if you're reading, feel free to TP my yard, so I have fodder for future blog posts.

Oh yeah... and Happy President's Day.


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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

That Wacky IMDB

Hi Folks. (Or at least, Hi, Charlie's folks.)

I'm back and couldn't help but notice Charlie's little link to the Siege entry on IMDB. You know, the one that says it's written by David Neilsen... and nobody else.

I will admit that I saw this a while ago and have been meaning to do something about it. However, I absolutely had nothing to do with putting it up there. When I first found it last month, I was as shocked as the next guy. (next guy being my co-writer, Charlie). At first, I thought maybe Charlie had put it up there, and that the reason his name wasn't on there was that since Siege will be his first IMDB entry that I'm aware of, he didn't have a page up yet, and it took longer to make a new page.

Of course that's a really stupid theory.

When it dawned on me just how lame that was, the only other explanation is that Producer Dude entered Siege into the database, and only put my name on it. Why would he do that? Well one, he knows me, and has only just met Charlie through this project. But also, he can be a little careless. Truth be told, if he found out that Charlie discovered he wasn't listed, he'd feel horrible.

So don't tell him, cause he gets embarrassing when he apologizes.

Anyway, we're fixing the problem, Charlie will be added, and this gives me an opportunity to discuss the ins and outs of that all-mighty powerful database, the IMDB.

The IMDB is a wonderful thing. I've used it as a resource for many things. But, especially when you climb down the ladder of projects (from Studio pics, to Independent, to B-Movie, to C-movie, to "My Family Vacation to Epcot") you can't always believe what you read.

Allow me to demonstrate.

I have a page. Go look at it. David Neilsen.

There are a number of things listed on this page. I specifically added none of them.

Starting at the very top, there's a bit of trivia. This trivia is, more or less, accurate. But I didn't put it there. And Lord knows I have no idea who would have bothered to put that bit of trivia up there. I mean it was the second item on my listing (I'll get to that in a minute) so you pretty much had to search me out, find me, and then take it upon yourself to add this obscure bit of trivia.

Some people need to get out more, but thanks for the ego boost.

Next up I currently have 4 items listed under "Writer". Siege has just been added, and is a real project that I am, indeed, involved with. Next we have The Eliminator, my true claim to fame. So far, so good.

Then we have The Eligible Gentleman, which I wrote, and Moist Book, which I didn't. I did not enter these films (remember, I've actually never entered anything into my entry.) However, both of these short films were directed by the same man, who I'm thinking, just forgot that I didn't write the first one. But now, until the end of the Internet, the world will think I wrote it.

Now one could say that I could get off my lazy ass and correct IMDB, take Moist Book off my listing. I could. But here's the thing. Both films were shot as a part of a project called Instant Films. I have written seven or eight Instant Films. None of the others are listed. So while I have 2 Instant Films listed, I should actually have about 8. So I'm not worried.

Also, Moist Book wasn't that great, so I doubt the author is dying to get credit for it.

Eligible Gentleman was pretty damn good, though.

Now we move on to my acting credits. I have two. Listed. Both are accurate. Both were written/directed/produced by the same friend of mine. Who actually listed me as "Dave Nelson" so I DID go in and fix that, so that they'd show up here.

I've got other acting bits that ought to find their way here, and some probably will over time.

Lastly, I'm listed as "Director" of something called Dominion.


After doing some research, I know what Dominion is. And the listed is KINDA, ALMOST, SORTA right. But not really. A long time ago, I directed a really bad version of a couple of short films for a friend. She then re-shot all of those bits, but I was still listed as one of the directors, though nothing that I shot still remained. Now, they are re-shooting the project once again. I'm so far removed that it's silly, yet there's my name.

So really, IMDB is a crap shoot. Oh sure, the info's probably right for 40 Year-Old Virgin or War of the Worlds. But the stuff you've never heard of? Take it with a grain of salt.

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Monday, February 13, 2006

Brushes with Greatness Part II: American Idol Stikes Again

So fast forward 6 months or so from my last post, where Ryan Seacrest made what was, in retrospect, the best decision of his career by kicking me to the curb.

The bubble has burst on the dot-com mania. We've been struggling with business directions for the last 6 months or so, but have finally begun to shore up some interesting opportunities.

When we first started brainstorming the company (well before getting any funding), my then-writing/business partner Troy and I had come up with a number of interactive TV series pitches. We'd been polishing one of them - a reality TV series that NOW (2006) I would describe as American Idol meets Blind Date. At that time, though, reality TV wasn't the ubiquitous monster that it is now. Survivor had just rolled onto the scene, and was redefining the way people thought of unscripted TV. American Idol was just something Paula Abdul dreamt of in her wildest fantasies.

We'd actually shot a couple of "mini-pilots" for these series on our own dime. Guerilla filming at various interesting dating-esque locations around town (Tail o' the Pup, Staples Center, Spago, etc) and then pulling it all together into an interactive flash demo, to give some flavor to the concept.

Anyhow... Survivor was doing well enough that Reality TV was definitely interesting to the nets. So... we managed to get several pitch sessions for this series (entitled Datenight USA). Honestly, I can't remember where all we pitched. It was all a blur, its been several years ago, and Troy did 90% of the talking. I was just along because I co-created the show and he couldn't come up with a nice way to tell me to screw off, he'd pitch it alone.

I'm pretty sure we pitched Showtime and E! But the place we pitched that mattered was Pearson Television. They loved the idea and immediately made a deal for it. We nabbed ourselves a CAA agent (not that he sold squat, but someone had to pull the deal together) and secured a relatively decent deal. They optioned it for 2 years, and Troy and I both had terms ensuring we'd theoretically be involved in the production of the show itself, if it made it to air.

We were totally psyched. We went to NATPE and partied with the Pearson elite - including the Baywatch cast and Louie Anderson (host of their juggernaut Family Feud). And Louie Anderson can party. Yessirree, we were going to have the next killer show.

Then, suddenly, Pearson stopped calling. And stopped returning our calls. Our agent at CAA swore everything was on track and ok, so we didn't get too panicky. And then HE stopped returning our calls. Finally, we learned that Pearson had reorganized into Freemantle Media, and the exec that had bought our show had been replaced.

Not good. Even as a neophyte I knew that when heads roll in Hollywood, the projects related to them usually get flushed, too.

The new head of programming finally called, though. We met with him over lunch at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. He loved the show, he assured us, and everything was on track. He'd call us in a week or two to start talking pilot.

So we got rolling. We hired a freelance showrunner to help us start pulling together show budgets and schedules for the on-the-road portion of the show that was so crucial to the concept.

A week passed. Then two. No call.

Then three. And four. We called. No reponse.

And so it went for a month or more, before we finally got some behind the scenes intel from a friend of a friend of a cousin or something like that.

Our show had no heat. Freemantle was focused on some talent show type thing hosted by some local-market radio guy. We should resign ourselves to the show being shelved.

And so it passed. The show was never declared dead or anything. Time went by and the option lapsed. We never heard from Freemantle's suit again. At least I got a nice lunch at the Buffalo Club.

And, of course, American Idol, starring local-market-radio-guy Ryan Seacrest, went on to become a monster success. And thus, I was screwed for a second time by American Idol.

By the way... if anyone out there's interested in a bitchin' American Idol meets Blind Date TV pitch, I still have the flash presentation, some one-sheets, and Troy's phone number. Simon Fuller - give me a call, baby!


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Friday, February 10, 2006

Waiter Rant Rules

Just a quickie update. Dave's out of town for a few days, in case you're wondering why the talented one is being quiet.

I just wanted to note that I've added Waiter Rant to our blogroll. He's not a scriptwriter, but he's easily one of the best writers in the blogosphere. His posts are always moving. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll want to read him again and again. And you'll never look at restaurant wait staff the same way again. Check it out.

Oh yeah... and speaking of Dave. When you get back, mister... I think you've got some 'splainin' to do. Whassup with THIS?!


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The One That Got Away...

While we wait for SIEGE to kick into gear, and the inevitable rewrites that pre-pro will bring, I thought it might be fun to regale you with some of my brushes with near-success.

As long-time readers may know by now (Hi again, Mom!), SIEGE will be the first thing I've written that actually makes it to screen. (Knock on wood). But.. prior to giving up on Hollywood and escaping to Atlanta, I made my play for greatness in LA, and had quite a few near misses.

In late '99 the dot-com boom was in full swing, and Hollywood wanted in on it. Any self-respecting mogul with a rolodex and some buddies with cash to burn wanted to start up an interactive interest of some sort. Pop.com. Icebox. DEN. iCast. Entertaindom. The list goes on.

My partners and I had a strong background in that world, and found an eager partner in Hollywood legend and movie mogul Mike Medavoy. He was looking to spread his wings and had interesting friends with great connections and deep pockets. So we started up a company.

Early on we met with one of the angel investors and board members. He was a very powerful player in the radio world, having founded one of the country's leading syndication networks. He had an upstart LA radio personality he really wanted us to create a property for.

We went to work, trying to come up with something interesting that fit this "convergence" space of radio meets internet. In the end, our pitch was THE CONVINCE ME COUNTDOWN. A nationally syndicated Top-40 style show, but heavily focused on the personality. And without Arbitron or Nielsen or anyone else determining the lineup. Nope. It was to be the first arbitrary Top-40 countdown. The internet audience spent time voting and chatting with and otherwise cajoling the host to pick what they wanted to hear. And he would go based on internet preferences, with the caveat that he could always over-ride fan opinion in lieu of his own thing. For example, you're Madonna and you have a new single? Show up at the studio to be on the show, chat with the host and audience and BOOM... #1 song in the countdown.

It was a concept of debateable quality, but it fulfilled a number of goals, including involving the audience, and most importantly, building up this fresh-faced DJ.

So the day came for us to pitch the radio host. We'd created one-sheets, put together a flash demo of how it'd work, even done some basic show scripting. We gathered at the Radio Mogul's office, and the DJ came in. A squirrley little guy.

"Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest," he said, with a warm smile and a firm handshake.

We exchanged introductions, sat down and gave the pitch. He really liked it. At that time he was a local market guy, and the idea of a nationally syndicated show seemed like the bigtime to him.

We had a great meeting, and left agreeing to have our respective agents work things out (he'd brought his with him... a guy who, it just happened, had previously repped one of my partners).

A few days passed, and we heard nothing.

Then a week.

Then two. We put in repeated calls to his agent. Nada. Finally we got ahold of Ryan and his guy.

"Listen guys, we love the idea, but we're going to have to pass. Ryan's been offered some kind of variety show thing, and, well... it's TV."

"You've gotta be kidding me," we objected. "Like Star Search? Good luck with that pal. 2 months from now you'll be back doing local radio and will wish you'd taken this fantastic opportunity."

We hung up, shaking our heads. We were incredulous that he'd have the gall to pass on such a cool radio concept for something as lame as hosting... no... actually now that I think of it, it was CO-hosting with Brian something or another... a freaking lame-ass sounding talent show called AMERICAN IDOL. Idiot.

Of course, we know how this story turned out. He's a gazillionaire, dating models, and I'm still a dot-com donkey, living in Atlanta, praying for them to start production on a C-movie.

That wasn't the last time American Idol would spit in my face, either. But that's another fish tale, for my next post...


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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Follow the Bouncing Carrot

So word from on high (high being Producer Dude) is that money will arrive the first week of March, shooting will begin mid-April.

A far cry from the mid-Oct. email from Producer Dude that said "Hey! I need a script I can start shooting before the end of 2005!" but if they make it, they make it.

Having had a film made by Producer Dude before (have you rented The Eliminator yet? It's great with beer!), I'm used to this. There is an element of being the donkey chasing the carrot it will never reach, but at the end of the day, it's just business. People are putting up money, and actually, quite a bit of it, to film our little Gone with the Wind spoof (if only...) and if it takes them longer and longer to get their act together than they think, well there ya go.

There's some that would say we should give up and move on. But the truth is, that makes no sense. Why?

1) It costs us nothing to keep going. At this point, the script is written. Neither Charlie nor myself are lifting a finger (nor have in a couple months or so) on Siege until money shows up in our grubby little hands.

2) There is a very good chance that Producer Dude will actually shoot this eventually. He has shot three C-movies over the last couple of years, so he has a history of making these projects.

3) It's not like we could go shop Siege anywhere else. It's a very specifically-written script. Not gonna be a whole lot of interest for it outside of Producer Dude without some serious revisions.

4) We have other projects to work on. Out of sight, out of mind.

So there you have it. Cross your fingers, and maybe we'll be celebrating in a month, treating everyone to whatever they want from the 99 cent store.

In the meantime, we need to get off our asses and start writing our epic horror story.


Monday, February 06, 2006

Shock of Shocks... Sherry Fine drops a note...

As I mentioned in my last post, I've joined Warren Leonard and several other scribloggers (Virgin Screenwriter, Man Bytes Hollywood) in dogpiling the Screenplay Agency, a seemingly skethy "literary agency" who have yet to meet a script they don't like, and who shockingly require coverage (which they can arrange for a tidy fee, of course) before they proceed beyond a certain point. Naturally, they don't reveal this until deep into the exchange.

Anyhow... I submitted the most absurd concept I could come up with - an animated musical based on the adventures of ROSEBUD, the sled of childhood memories that haunts CITIZEN KANE.

Our good friends at the Screenplay Agency are intrigued...


Thank you for your query to the Screenplay Literary Agency. Based on your

query form information we would like to see your work and learn a little bit
more about your goals and your work.

1) Would you please send us an electronic copy
of your screenplay for further evaluation?

Please email your manuscript to
manuscript@thescreenplayagency.com .
(We accept Final Draft, Movie Magic, Screenwiter, and pdf, doc, and

2) Would you please answer these 2 questions
in the body of the SAME email? (Just copy and paste
the questions).

A. How long have you been writing, and
what are your goals as a writer?

B. Do you consider your writing 'ready-to-go',
or do you think it needs some polishing.

You may send either 30 or so pages, or the entire screenplay, whichever you
are more comfortable sending to us. Your screenplay is completely safe
within our company. We take care to properly manage all access and if we
don't end up working together, we delete all files.

Please DO NOT include any questions with your submission. If you have a
question, please send it to question@TheScreenplayAgency.com where the
proper people may address your question. Most of the questions you may have
are answered on the website and at the bottom of this email. Please see the
FAQs below.

Our preference for receiving your screenplay is via email.
If the file size is greater than 5 megabytes you can mail it to us, but
please only send it once, either by email or snail mail (we prefer email).
Our mailing address is: The Screenplay Agency, 275 Madison Ave., 4th Floor,
New York, New York 10016. If you decide to mail your screenplay please be
sure to INCLUDE your email address (very clearly) so we may reply and
process your screenplay. Mailed screenplays may take up to 30 days to
reply/process. Emailed manuscripts are processed much more quickly.
We also just recently found a free service that will move large files. Take
a look at www.yousendit.com. We've used it successfully in the past. Just
use my email address.

We believe we are very different than other agencies.
We believe that we are unique in that we are willing to develop an author
and their talent. We like the metaphor of a business incubator as a
description of how we will take time to bring an author's work to the proper
quality level, even if it takes months to do so. We take pride in the fact
that we answer every email personally within 2-3 days.

Also, you may understand how a Literary Agency works, but many authors
don't, so please excuse me while I take a minute and let you know how the
process works. As your Literary Agent, our mission is to assist you in
finding a buyer for your work and to coach you along the way in various
options available to you. We don't edit your work, our mission is to sell
for you. As for compensation, get paid on success only, meaning we only get
paid if you get paid. Typically we will receive 10% of what you receive if
we are successful.

We do not charge fees, so our compensation is based on success only. Along
the way, we may suggest that you improve the quality of your work and or how
it is presented. Once your work is deemed 'presentable', then we'll start
shopping it to buyers. We never promise a sale, but we can tell you that we
have a model that works.

We look forward to receiving your materials.

Best regards,
Sherry Fine - V.P. Acquisitions


Now the tough part. Do I wanna go as far as Warren and frankenedit together a hodge-podge of crap that has nothing to do with anything (much less a singing and dancing sled) and send it off to Ms. Fine?



Thursday, February 02, 2006

Meeting Expectations

Don't tell Charlie, but there's apparently a bunch of people salivating over this Siege script without having actually ever seen it.

Producer Dude is being very good, not asking for the script before showing us the money, but he's not hesitant in letting me know how everyone and their mother is all a-gog over this Pulitzer Prize winning opus we've created.

The Distributors are excited about it. They'd love to see it. The money people have heard how wonderful it is. Producer Dude's team is ready to break it down, budget it, etc. Hell, even the friggin' ACTORS are all on board and can't wait to see the script. One of the leading ladies stopped by Producer Dude's house looking for a copy of the script, not believing that he didn't have it yet. They've got a couple of ALMOST-names hanging by a thread, all set to sign off on it as soon as they see the script.

No pressure or anything.

I mean yipes folks, no one has seen this but Charlie and Me. For all we know, it could be crap. Producer Dude could take one look at it, turn up his nose in disgust, and curse our names from here to eternity. We could be burned in effigy for our efforts. The entire B-movie (C-movie?) world could spurn us, turn us into a laughing stock, the punchline of a cruel joke.

"You remember what happened to those boobs who wrote Siege?"

"Didn't they end up shoveling camel dung in the Sahara for a living?"

"Not so much shoveling as picking up with their bare hands."


This is one of my issues with Producer Dude. He likes everything, he trusts just about everybody, he has unalterable faith in those he knows. Admirable traits, but man you just want to smack him on the noggin every now and then out of frustration and angst. He's so sure that this is a fine script, so sure that we've done a good job, that's he's gone and told everyone what a great script he has, how it's the perfect movie for the budget, how it'll be easy to make, how it'll make a ton of money. And the thing about Producer Dude is.. people believe him. So they think this script is great. If it isn't top notch, do you think they're gonna say:

"Producer Dude! Why did you tell us this was good? It's homogenized feces!"

No. They're gonna say:

"Feeble writers! Thou art hereby banish-ed from our sight. Be gone! And no more cookies!"

So we've got our little Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.

Now truthfully, I think we're fine. The script is a wonder of modern C-movie magic waiting to happen. It dodges, it weaves, it runs and jumps, it folds, spindles, and mutilates. It is Da Bomb. Well, maybe not Da Bomb. Maybe da bomb. Or even the bomb. But there's bombiness about. In a good way.

I mean Producer Dude HAS read a treatment. So he knows, more or less, what happens. So we're not going to get the angry emails demanding to know where the huge slot car chase has gone. But has he read one line of dialogue? Well, unless he looks at our site (probably not) he hasn't. That means YOU, dear readers have a better idea of the ultimate quality of our script than the people poised to drop close to half a million bucks on it.

I hope you're happy with yourselves.

Newest update: Movement continues, money should be in Producer Dude's hands (and then in ours) by Feb. 20th at the latest.

Wish us luck.


Dogpiling The Screenplay Agency

I've had great fun reading Warren Leonard's posts about The Screenplay Agency, a sketchy "literary agency" for screenwriters. Warren and several other scribloggers (Virgin Screenwriter, Man Bytes Hollywood) have all submitted utterly ridiculous concepts (no offense) and have all received identical form-letter replies from the agency, who are apparently very interested.

Never one to resist taking the piss out of hucksters, I've decided to join the fray. Here is my submission:

How Did You Hear of Us?
Referred by Ben Affleck. Not *THE* Ben Affleck. My high school buddy Benjamin Affleck. He sells insurance. Which is funny, because he sells it for Prudential, not AFLAC. Go figure.

The Title of Your Work:
Rosebud's Big Adventure

Cinema's most famous sled returns in this animated musical that's sure to tickle your funnybone and warm the deepest "Welles" of your heart.

Your Name:
Jedediah Leland

Has Your Work Been Edited or Critiqued, and if So, By Whom?
Ben Affleck sure liked it! ;)

Your Bio:
I was born at a very early age, the son of poor sharecroppers. All my life I had a simple dream - to write. In high school I wrote several plays, including Marsten High's highest grossing presentation to date, a stage adaptation of the classic film "I Spit On Your Grave."

Since High School I haven't had any of my works produced or presented, but I've been writing regularly, with gusto. I've recently retired and live in an assisted-living facility with a computer lab, complete with high-speed internet! I'm looking forward to focusing full-time on my craft again.

If history and the experience of Warren and the others proves true, I should hear from one Sherry Fine, VP of Acquisitions in the very near future. I'll keep you all posted.

That said, wouldn't it be a hoot if my crap idea were the one she rejects!!

Stay tuned.