It's true. He thinks you're a waste of his time. And this isn't just because he's too busy to blog, he actually told me the other day.
"Hey Dave."
"Yeah?"
"You know that one guy who reads our blog?"
"You mean me?"
"No, the other one."
"Oh, right."
"I don't love him."
Doesn't get any clearer than that.
The sad truth is, there are times that I even doubt his love for me. Like when he doesn't read my draft of the Munchkin/sock puppet/serial lesbian/voodoo script that I sent him, like, months ago. Like when he'd rather spend time doing his JOB than pay attention to our dreams of getting Siege made. (Oh, it's going to be made this year. Producer Dude says so." Like earning money to feed and house his family is more important than his dreams.
As if.
So we sit and stew. Two of the greatest screenwriting minds of the 21st Century, dragged to a stand-still due to the pressures of modern life. Charlie has to work for The Man, and I have a huge conference call with a production company in LA tonight interested in producing the TV series I've put together with My Manager and My Agent.
Priorities. Bah.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
High Times, and an American Idol musing
First, Producer Dude's new movie that was not written by us has been screened at 20th Century Fox Studio, and is having a world premiere in an actual theater in a small nation that is not the United States.
This is a good thing. Why? Because Siege is going to be his next pic. It really, really is. And people who make movies tend to get bigger and bigger each time. So if this one is being shown on screens, real-life movie screens, then Siege might make it to a screen in a not-quite-as-small nation as the one his current is premiering on. Like instead of Andorra, Siege will be shown in theaters in Uruguay. That's a step up.
That's cool.
Which means we're so, so, so, so, so close. Right?
Meanwhile, in the American Idol world, I have a thought. You know what I'd really like? I'd like to see the Idols do a week of Weird Al songs. I think that would be awesome, and Simon would probably implode from agony. Talk about must-see-TV!
OK, now back to your regularly-scheduled Veggie Dance.
This is a good thing. Why? Because Siege is going to be his next pic. It really, really is. And people who make movies tend to get bigger and bigger each time. So if this one is being shown on screens, real-life movie screens, then Siege might make it to a screen in a not-quite-as-small nation as the one his current is premiering on. Like instead of Andorra, Siege will be shown in theaters in Uruguay. That's a step up.
That's cool.
Which means we're so, so, so, so, so close. Right?
Meanwhile, in the American Idol world, I have a thought. You know what I'd really like? I'd like to see the Idols do a week of Weird Al songs. I think that would be awesome, and Simon would probably implode from agony. Talk about must-see-TV!
OK, now back to your regularly-scheduled Veggie Dance.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Building on Someone Else's Success
Aloha,
So while we've been twisting in the wind, Producer Dude has made another movie. This has nothing to do with Siege, and we knew he was making this film. It's made, and he's about to set off for a whirlwind tour of a few countries that you've never heard of to promote the film, which is actually going to be released in the theaters in some of these countries. Not all, and not any that have a GNP larger than Rhode Island, but all the same...
Meanwhile, Siege continues on track for a Q4 start of production. I'm assuming that's Q4 2008, but really, who can say?
So here's my thing. Producer Dude has a "hit" on his hands- at least when compared to his other films, none of which ever got any kind of theatrical release anywhere. So with success comes clout, the ability to do larger projects, the ability to bring more money into the process.
And Siege is his next film.
A theatrical release for Siege in the tiny island nation of Barbados? It could happen.
But now, of course, he wants to emmulate the success of his current opus. Which means he may want rewrites, to turn Siege into something with, get this, "character development" and "an easily-followable plot."
Oh the sacrifices we make for our art.
I guess the end result of all this inner-chaos is that I'm gonna have to try and pry more "money" from Producer Dude. Hey, if he's loaded, time to spread it around, right?
Soldier on.
So while we've been twisting in the wind, Producer Dude has made another movie. This has nothing to do with Siege, and we knew he was making this film. It's made, and he's about to set off for a whirlwind tour of a few countries that you've never heard of to promote the film, which is actually going to be released in the theaters in some of these countries. Not all, and not any that have a GNP larger than Rhode Island, but all the same...
Meanwhile, Siege continues on track for a Q4 start of production. I'm assuming that's Q4 2008, but really, who can say?
So here's my thing. Producer Dude has a "hit" on his hands- at least when compared to his other films, none of which ever got any kind of theatrical release anywhere. So with success comes clout, the ability to do larger projects, the ability to bring more money into the process.
And Siege is his next film.
A theatrical release for Siege in the tiny island nation of Barbados? It could happen.
But now, of course, he wants to emmulate the success of his current opus. Which means he may want rewrites, to turn Siege into something with, get this, "character development" and "an easily-followable plot."
Oh the sacrifices we make for our art.
I guess the end result of all this inner-chaos is that I'm gonna have to try and pry more "money" from Producer Dude. Hey, if he's loaded, time to spread it around, right?
Soldier on.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Nothing to see here. Move Along.
Yeah, yeah, its me, Charlie... the one who never posts anymore. I know, I know. I'm a douchebag.
The thing is, there's really nothing to say, at least as it relates to B Movie Writing.
When Dave wrote a couple of weeks ago, he told you that Producer Dude had re-emerged to tell us that this time we're REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SUPER CLOSE, which is different from last time, when we were REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY CLOSE (no "super") and the time before that when we just got REALLY REALLY REALLY CLOSE (only three REALLY's which, really, we all know is not close, at all, but rather is quite far).
Thing is, we haven't heard from Producer Dude since. So... its business as usual here in B Movieland. Lather, rinse, repeat. Which is to say, Dave gets lathered, begs me to rinse him, and I repeat gagging.
In related non-news, as Dave said, he's sent me rewrites to the Donkey herders/firefighters/armageddon/jesus musical. And I've been hard at work on... well... not even reading them. I've just been slammed and haven't had the chance and... yeah. I'm a douche, as I said. I need to read 'em.
Anyhow... we'll post again as soon as sometime happens. Or doesn't happen and one of us feels guilty.
- Charlie
The thing is, there's really nothing to say, at least as it relates to B Movie Writing.
When Dave wrote a couple of weeks ago, he told you that Producer Dude had re-emerged to tell us that this time we're REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SUPER CLOSE, which is different from last time, when we were REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY CLOSE (no "super") and the time before that when we just got REALLY REALLY REALLY CLOSE (only three REALLY's which, really, we all know is not close, at all, but rather is quite far).
Thing is, we haven't heard from Producer Dude since. So... its business as usual here in B Movieland. Lather, rinse, repeat. Which is to say, Dave gets lathered, begs me to rinse him, and I repeat gagging.
In related non-news, as Dave said, he's sent me rewrites to the Donkey herders/firefighters/armageddon/jesus musical. And I've been hard at work on... well... not even reading them. I've just been slammed and haven't had the chance and... yeah. I'm a douche, as I said. I need to read 'em.
Anyhow... we'll post again as soon as sometime happens. Or doesn't happen and one of us feels guilty.
- Charlie
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Has It Really Been A Month?
Wow. Time flies when you don't blog.
So over the last month we've... uhm.. we've....
Actually. No. We have. I finished my draft on our rocking horse/velvet curtain/glowing spear/banana leaf epic and sent it over to Charlie. He emailed me back (eventually) to say he couldn't find my email. So I then emailed it to him again.
That's progress.
Also, Siege didn't get made. But, and this is key, Producer Dude says we're SOOOOO CLOSE. Actually blind-copying us on emails from money people to producing people talking about schedules and finances and production slates and howthere's this mysterious inload of funding that first needs to be "laundered". Or maybe our movie is the laundering. I'm not sure.
There is also talk of a re-write. Which means Charlie and I will have to read the script and see what it's all about, since we have no clue. I think there's a midget in it. Hopefully a lesbian.
Actually, the truth is even funnier. See, we wrote Seige back in Ought-Five to be this no-nonsense, people beating people up in inventive ways, all-action, every line of dialogue should be able to be plastered on a snarky coffee mug, film. Now Producer Dude says that when we go into the rewriting process (which no one is doing until some money exchanges hands and ends up in the bank account of me and Charlie) we need to try to instill the script with character depth and meaningfull, dramatic dialogue.
Character depth. In Seige. Huh. Here's my take on that.
"There are three bad guys around the corner! You only have two bullets in the gun!"
"It's OK. I've done a lot of soul searching, and I think there's a better way. Before my father died from colon cancer, he taught me what was important in life. He taught me to really be there for everyone. And though I only have two bullets, those two bullets will really be there for me."
"I understand your pain. My own father was raped by a balloon salesman and left for dead in the tiger cage at the zoo. It has scarred me to this day."
"That's why you hold such animosity toward animals?"
"Both in the flesh, and the balloon variety, yes."
"You need to be there for your own inner child."
"I try. The pressures of being a real man in today's non-stop society make it difficult to cry."
"I'm so sorry. Let me use my two bullets to violently murder the three men around the corner, then we should sit down and have a good cry together. For you. For me. For us. And for the three dead men who will be in the hall."
"They have lives, too. Lives which we are about to end."
"Sometimes I hate myself."
"It's OK. Now go plug those assholes good."
I'd like to thank the Academy...
So over the last month we've... uhm.. we've....
Actually. No. We have. I finished my draft on our rocking horse/velvet curtain/glowing spear/banana leaf epic and sent it over to Charlie. He emailed me back (eventually) to say he couldn't find my email. So I then emailed it to him again.
That's progress.
Also, Siege didn't get made. But, and this is key, Producer Dude says we're SOOOOO CLOSE. Actually blind-copying us on emails from money people to producing people talking about schedules and finances and production slates and howthere's this mysterious inload of funding that first needs to be "laundered". Or maybe our movie is the laundering. I'm not sure.
There is also talk of a re-write. Which means Charlie and I will have to read the script and see what it's all about, since we have no clue. I think there's a midget in it. Hopefully a lesbian.
Actually, the truth is even funnier. See, we wrote Seige back in Ought-Five to be this no-nonsense, people beating people up in inventive ways, all-action, every line of dialogue should be able to be plastered on a snarky coffee mug, film. Now Producer Dude says that when we go into the rewriting process (which no one is doing until some money exchanges hands and ends up in the bank account of me and Charlie) we need to try to instill the script with character depth and meaningfull, dramatic dialogue.
Character depth. In Seige. Huh. Here's my take on that.
"There are three bad guys around the corner! You only have two bullets in the gun!"
"It's OK. I've done a lot of soul searching, and I think there's a better way. Before my father died from colon cancer, he taught me what was important in life. He taught me to really be there for everyone. And though I only have two bullets, those two bullets will really be there for me."
"I understand your pain. My own father was raped by a balloon salesman and left for dead in the tiger cage at the zoo. It has scarred me to this day."
"That's why you hold such animosity toward animals?"
"Both in the flesh, and the balloon variety, yes."
"You need to be there for your own inner child."
"I try. The pressures of being a real man in today's non-stop society make it difficult to cry."
"I'm so sorry. Let me use my two bullets to violently murder the three men around the corner, then we should sit down and have a good cry together. For you. For me. For us. And for the three dead men who will be in the hall."
"They have lives, too. Lives which we are about to end."
"Sometimes I hate myself."
"It's OK. Now go plug those assholes good."
I'd like to thank the Academy...
Friday, January 04, 2008
Dave's New Year's Resolution
Well, my resolution as it would pertain to this site and the subject matter wee talk about here. Writing. Writing with Charlie.
So it's really a subsection of my actual writing resolutions, which themselves are a subsection of my entire resolutions. Just wanted to be clear.
OK.
I'm gonna write more.
Hmm, that seems vague.
Well for starters, the current status of the Human Growth Hormone/Mango/Midget sex romp is in my hands. I'm going to finish the draft. And soon-ish.
Soon-ish? That tends to mean, like, when I get around to it. But before I forget about it completely.
See, some other non-Charlie-writing Resolutions will have to be satisfied before this one, because of things outside of my control. But then I'll jump on this and be rocking and rolling.
So there you have it. Dave's Charlie-Writing New Year's Resolution.
Astounding, I know. Inspiring, I'm sure.
Oh, and some day we'll make Siege.
So it's really a subsection of my actual writing resolutions, which themselves are a subsection of my entire resolutions. Just wanted to be clear.
OK.
I'm gonna write more.
Hmm, that seems vague.
Well for starters, the current status of the Human Growth Hormone/Mango/Midget sex romp is in my hands. I'm going to finish the draft. And soon-ish.
Soon-ish? That tends to mean, like, when I get around to it. But before I forget about it completely.
See, some other non-Charlie-writing Resolutions will have to be satisfied before this one, because of things outside of my control. But then I'll jump on this and be rocking and rolling.
So there you have it. Dave's Charlie-Writing New Year's Resolution.
Astounding, I know. Inspiring, I'm sure.
Oh, and some day we'll make Siege.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Hey America - Go F Yourself!
Hey America... what the f*ck?!
I've put up with a lot over the years. Ketchup as a vegetable when I was in school. Bush. Not once. Not even twice. Three god*amn times. Susan B. Anthony dollars. Crocs.
But you've gone too far, America. This time... you've gone too far.
Have you really shelled out nearly $150 million dollars to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets?" YES, America, you have.
You filthy, gutter-dragging, lowest-common-denominator-pandering whore. $150 mil??
That's just wrong.
Its over, America. I'm going back to China. Call me when you're ready to drop that kinda dough on movies like ONCE.
- Charlie
I've put up with a lot over the years. Ketchup as a vegetable when I was in school. Bush. Not once. Not even twice. Three god*amn times. Susan B. Anthony dollars. Crocs.
But you've gone too far, America. This time... you've gone too far.
Have you really shelled out nearly $150 million dollars to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets?" YES, America, you have.
You filthy, gutter-dragging, lowest-common-denominator-pandering whore. $150 mil??
That's just wrong.
Its over, America. I'm going back to China. Call me when you're ready to drop that kinda dough on movies like ONCE.
- Charlie
Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Christmas Miracle
...and so I'm all like... "I don't care WHAT you do for Fabio, I can't score women for you."
Huh?
Oh... wow... hey, you! I sure didn't expect to see you here.
(Excuse me for a few minutes guys...)
Wow. Look at you. You look incredible. How long's it been?
God, that long? Jeez. I knew it had been awhile, but I didn't realize how time had just slipped away from me. You really do look great. I dig the new hair - bangs - totally works. Super cute.
I really meant to get in touch... it's just that work has been totally crazy -- I was in China for a few weeks, and then Thanksgiving - hey do you call it Bangsgiving now? Hahah! Um... yeah... I bet you don't miss the lame jokes, huh? Anyhow, my paying gig's been so crazy I just haven't had any spare time at all. Its all good, though... China was amazing, and I got a nice promotion and a big office...
Man, I miss the good old days. Remember how we used to snuggle in the morning under that big comforter of yours?
What? Oh. God. That's embarassing. Sure sign I'm getting old... memory's going, heh. I could have sworn we used to do that.
My writing? Yeah. We haven't seen each other in ages, but that probably hasn't changed much. Dave and I finished up the un-named horror/thriller thingie, and then I was going to do a polish, but I got so busy with work... And remember Producer Dude? As usual, he's reappeared after months of silence and is again promising the movie is going to move forward sometime REALLY REALLY REALLY soon. But, you know... that's pretty much the same story as last time I saw you. And, for that matter, when we first met.
You knew all of that already? How?
Oh... I didn't realize you and Dave still talked. Huh. Do you guys see each other often? Really? I can't believe he hasn't mentioned that.
Um... well... I should probably get back to my buddies. Tim always gets drunk at these Christmas parties and ends up making out with the busboy or something. I don't want to miss it. But - hey - let's get together after the holidays. It'd be great to hang out and really catch up.
Ok. Yeah... you, too. And you really do look hot. Cheers!
Right... bye!
(God, how awkward was THAT?)
- Charlie
Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, script, movies
Huh?
Oh... wow... hey, you! I sure didn't expect to see you here.
(Excuse me for a few minutes guys...)
Wow. Look at you. You look incredible. How long's it been?
God, that long? Jeez. I knew it had been awhile, but I didn't realize how time had just slipped away from me. You really do look great. I dig the new hair - bangs - totally works. Super cute.
I really meant to get in touch... it's just that work has been totally crazy -- I was in China for a few weeks, and then Thanksgiving - hey do you call it Bangsgiving now? Hahah! Um... yeah... I bet you don't miss the lame jokes, huh? Anyhow, my paying gig's been so crazy I just haven't had any spare time at all. Its all good, though... China was amazing, and I got a nice promotion and a big office...
Man, I miss the good old days. Remember how we used to snuggle in the morning under that big comforter of yours?
What? Oh. God. That's embarassing. Sure sign I'm getting old... memory's going, heh. I could have sworn we used to do that.
My writing? Yeah. We haven't seen each other in ages, but that probably hasn't changed much. Dave and I finished up the un-named horror/thriller thingie, and then I was going to do a polish, but I got so busy with work... And remember Producer Dude? As usual, he's reappeared after months of silence and is again promising the movie is going to move forward sometime REALLY REALLY REALLY soon. But, you know... that's pretty much the same story as last time I saw you. And, for that matter, when we first met.
You knew all of that already? How?
Oh... I didn't realize you and Dave still talked. Huh. Do you guys see each other often? Really? I can't believe he hasn't mentioned that.
Um... well... I should probably get back to my buddies. Tim always gets drunk at these Christmas parties and ends up making out with the busboy or something. I don't want to miss it. But - hey - let's get together after the holidays. It'd be great to hang out and really catch up.
Ok. Yeah... you, too. And you really do look hot. Cheers!
Right... bye!
(God, how awkward was THAT?)
- Charlie
Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, script, movies
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Bigger Slice of Nothing
I have gone through another round of contract negotiations with Producer Dude.
That sounds a lot more impressive than it really is.
"So, Producer Dude, what's up?"
"We're so close, David. Tell Charlie that we're so very close. In fact, I need to look at our contract again."
"The one we haven't signed because you've never gotten a finished version back to us?"
"Yes, that one."
"Well alright, but it'll cost ya."
And so it goes. Every time Producer Dude "re-opens" the contract, I make sure we get more money. That's not as difficult as it seems, either.
"What did we agree upon again, David? I can't remember."
"You were giving us X for the script."
"Really? X? That seems-"
"X. We agreed."
"Oh. OK. Let me make a note..."
In reality, X is generally the previous amount x 2. True, twice nothing is still nothing, but it makes me feel good.
So there's another contract that he's once again sending to his people. Then, according to the plan, he will send it back to us to sign. We get a mighty option signing bonus (so we can buy a new toothbrush) and then sit and wait for production to start.
Sure, we've been here for the past 15 months or so. But this time, when Hell freezes over, we end up with a slightly larger chunk of change.
If he keeps this up, we'll get real money in a few contracts. Hell, you double a single grain of rice long enough...
That sounds a lot more impressive than it really is.
"So, Producer Dude, what's up?"
"We're so close, David. Tell Charlie that we're so very close. In fact, I need to look at our contract again."
"The one we haven't signed because you've never gotten a finished version back to us?"
"Yes, that one."
"Well alright, but it'll cost ya."
And so it goes. Every time Producer Dude "re-opens" the contract, I make sure we get more money. That's not as difficult as it seems, either.
"What did we agree upon again, David? I can't remember."
"You were giving us X for the script."
"Really? X? That seems-"
"X. We agreed."
"Oh. OK. Let me make a note..."
In reality, X is generally the previous amount x 2. True, twice nothing is still nothing, but it makes me feel good.
So there's another contract that he's once again sending to his people. Then, according to the plan, he will send it back to us to sign. We get a mighty option signing bonus (so we can buy a new toothbrush) and then sit and wait for production to start.
Sure, we've been here for the past 15 months or so. But this time, when Hell freezes over, we end up with a slightly larger chunk of change.
If he keeps this up, we'll get real money in a few contracts. Hell, you double a single grain of rice long enough...
Monday, November 12, 2007
I Have Had Charlie Cryogenically Frozen
Hello out there in Blog Land.
I haven't written as much as usual. But Charlie hasn't written anything at all.
Because he can't. He's cryogrenically frozen.
I grew tired of his whining and complainng that I didn't like his work, that I stole all the spotlight, that I got the best Blog-Groupies, so I snuck into his house, found him in the shower singing old Erasure songs, kidnapped him (or rather, adultnapped him), stuffed him into a burlap sack, beat him a few times with the an 8-track player, carted him over to "Chillin", and all-night cryo clinic, zapped his ass cold, and stuffed him in a meat locker.
So don't expect anything from him soon.
We're still writing, of course. Well, I am. Charlie's thinking about things as best he can at 2 degrees Kelvin. I'm working on projects and projects. Producer Dude is making noises once again about a contract, about making Seige. Noise is just that, however, until the payola is recieved and the cameras roll.
Now, when I say we are writing, I of course mean that we are writing only so much as it is allowed with the current Writer' Strike. We can write for ourselves, which is what we're doing. We can actually write for Producer Dude, because he is so small and unimportant that he isn't a target of the strike. See, there's a list of companies that you can not work for, and it's really, really long. And yet Producer Dude isn't on it.
That's right, we're in the corridors of power now, baby!
So anyway, there's your update.
Choke on it.
I haven't written as much as usual. But Charlie hasn't written anything at all.
Because he can't. He's cryogrenically frozen.
I grew tired of his whining and complainng that I didn't like his work, that I stole all the spotlight, that I got the best Blog-Groupies, so I snuck into his house, found him in the shower singing old Erasure songs, kidnapped him (or rather, adultnapped him), stuffed him into a burlap sack, beat him a few times with the an 8-track player, carted him over to "Chillin", and all-night cryo clinic, zapped his ass cold, and stuffed him in a meat locker.
So don't expect anything from him soon.
We're still writing, of course. Well, I am. Charlie's thinking about things as best he can at 2 degrees Kelvin. I'm working on projects and projects. Producer Dude is making noises once again about a contract, about making Seige. Noise is just that, however, until the payola is recieved and the cameras roll.
Now, when I say we are writing, I of course mean that we are writing only so much as it is allowed with the current Writer' Strike. We can write for ourselves, which is what we're doing. We can actually write for Producer Dude, because he is so small and unimportant that he isn't a target of the strike. See, there's a list of companies that you can not work for, and it's really, really long. And yet Producer Dude isn't on it.
That's right, we're in the corridors of power now, baby!
So anyway, there's your update.
Choke on it.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
A World of Possibilities
Nothing new from Producer Dude.
Nothing new on any front that I'm working on solo.
Nothing new from Charlie on the script that is in his hands. (That boy can be slow when he wants to be).
Nothing new in my own head about any ideas.
Nothing new on our comedy, ripe for the plucking by some astute Hollywood exec looking for the next big thing.
And yet today I feel as if the world is at my feet.
There is no explanation for this. There is no proof that the world is, in fact, lying at my feet. Rather, it is a feeling. A sensation. A jolt of free will.
Perhaps tomorrow, all will be as it was, and we will again languish in obscurity. But for now, it is a new dawn, filled with promise.
Feeling lucky.
Nothing new on any front that I'm working on solo.
Nothing new from Charlie on the script that is in his hands. (That boy can be slow when he wants to be).
Nothing new in my own head about any ideas.
Nothing new on our comedy, ripe for the plucking by some astute Hollywood exec looking for the next big thing.
And yet today I feel as if the world is at my feet.
There is no explanation for this. There is no proof that the world is, in fact, lying at my feet. Rather, it is a feeling. A sensation. A jolt of free will.
Perhaps tomorrow, all will be as it was, and we will again languish in obscurity. But for now, it is a new dawn, filled with promise.
Feeling lucky.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
When They'll Take Anything
I'm working on a short film adaptation of a post I wrote last month that got some interest from an Independent Producer (not Producer Dude).
It's a cute little story about The Time I Helped Some Jews (Yeah, that's a link to the story. Go read it if ya want a good read).
The problem with the situation is that this producer, while very nice and very enthusiastic, isn't the most... picky. Basically, they really like the story, they really want to turn it into a short film, and they're happy as all get-out that I'm willing to write the screenplay for them. (As if I'd let anyone else touch my own story).
But they'll gladly take whatever I give them. And that's not a good thing.
Because I need editors. I need people who will read my first few drafts and point out where the script sucks. Otherwise, you get a bad script, which becomes a bad film, which becomes a waste of all our time.
I'm probably gonna send a copy over to Charlie soon (shhhh, he doesn't know yet) and my wife's already looked at it and torn it apart, but it's discouraging to know that I could send crap to the producer and I'd get:
"Awesome, Dave! Just awesome! Thanks so much! We'll let you know when we shoot it! You're the best!"
Now I love to hear that, of course, but when it comes without qualifications, then what's the point?
In many ways, this is also a problem with Producer Dude. He loves EVERYTHING.
We had to hold back Siege until we felt it was good, other people had told us it was good, what have you. Because he loves EVERYTHING. Thinks it's all really great, can't wait to make the movie. (cough, cough.) It's why he's still making B-movies, because he doesn't care about the script. Or rather, he cares, but he is unable to tell when something isn't very good.
I have a script I wrote for him, like, 8 years ago (yipes, it's been a while) and he mentioned the thought of pushing it back to another money man, get some more funding. The subject's coming back around to being timely again, maybe now's the time to do it.
Thing is, I read the script. It's HORRIBLE. Yes, I wrote it, all by my lonesome, but it sucks to high Heaven. And he wants to shoot it?
I don't know why I care, this is Producer Dude we're talking about, so it'll get made in about 2017, but the fact that he even considers making that script is chilling.
Sometimes, we writers need someone to tell us that our shit stinks.
It's a cute little story about The Time I Helped Some Jews (Yeah, that's a link to the story. Go read it if ya want a good read).
The problem with the situation is that this producer, while very nice and very enthusiastic, isn't the most... picky. Basically, they really like the story, they really want to turn it into a short film, and they're happy as all get-out that I'm willing to write the screenplay for them. (As if I'd let anyone else touch my own story).
But they'll gladly take whatever I give them. And that's not a good thing.
Because I need editors. I need people who will read my first few drafts and point out where the script sucks. Otherwise, you get a bad script, which becomes a bad film, which becomes a waste of all our time.
I'm probably gonna send a copy over to Charlie soon (shhhh, he doesn't know yet) and my wife's already looked at it and torn it apart, but it's discouraging to know that I could send crap to the producer and I'd get:
"Awesome, Dave! Just awesome! Thanks so much! We'll let you know when we shoot it! You're the best!"
Now I love to hear that, of course, but when it comes without qualifications, then what's the point?
In many ways, this is also a problem with Producer Dude. He loves EVERYTHING.
We had to hold back Siege until we felt it was good, other people had told us it was good, what have you. Because he loves EVERYTHING. Thinks it's all really great, can't wait to make the movie. (cough, cough.) It's why he's still making B-movies, because he doesn't care about the script. Or rather, he cares, but he is unable to tell when something isn't very good.
I have a script I wrote for him, like, 8 years ago (yipes, it's been a while) and he mentioned the thought of pushing it back to another money man, get some more funding. The subject's coming back around to being timely again, maybe now's the time to do it.
Thing is, I read the script. It's HORRIBLE. Yes, I wrote it, all by my lonesome, but it sucks to high Heaven. And he wants to shoot it?
I don't know why I care, this is Producer Dude we're talking about, so it'll get made in about 2017, but the fact that he even considers making that script is chilling.
Sometimes, we writers need someone to tell us that our shit stinks.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Mum's The Word
So we've been quiet for awhile.
And by "WE" I mostly mean... well... "ME."
See... Dave did his pass of clean-up of my rewrites to the unnamed Gay-Porn/Airliner-Disaster/Urban-Comedy/Barbarella-remake. I then read the whole thing from the beginning again.
And thought of stuff that should be different.
We were almost there. I should have kept my mouth shut, said it was perfect, and let him toss it to his manager, who instantly hates anything we do together anyhow. But I didn't. I tossed out ideas, some of which Dave agreed with.
So now the onus is on me to do another rewrite. I need to do it. I've been meaning to do it. Now I just need to make time. Kinda like blogging! Heh.
I was out in Los Angeles last week, catching up with friends. Did some hustling, trying to get the raunchy comedy screenplay read, but didn't have much luck. Guess no one wanted a date with "the hottest old man on Santa Monica at 3am" in exchange for reading the screenplay. I'll continue to work it, though.
And the latest on Siege is the same as the oldest on Siege. Any day now, things are going crazy, its gonna be huge, biggest movie of 2004, yadda yadda yadda.
Anyhow... that's pretty much the latest. Sorry its been a bit slow lately, true believers. Things will pick back up soon, though, especially to hear Producer Dude tell it. And if not, we'll keep writing about not writing!
- Charlie
And by "WE" I mostly mean... well... "ME."
See... Dave did his pass of clean-up of my rewrites to the unnamed Gay-Porn/Airliner-Disaster/Urban-Comedy/Barbarella-remake. I then read the whole thing from the beginning again.
And thought of stuff that should be different.
We were almost there. I should have kept my mouth shut, said it was perfect, and let him toss it to his manager, who instantly hates anything we do together anyhow. But I didn't. I tossed out ideas, some of which Dave agreed with.
So now the onus is on me to do another rewrite. I need to do it. I've been meaning to do it. Now I just need to make time. Kinda like blogging! Heh.
I was out in Los Angeles last week, catching up with friends. Did some hustling, trying to get the raunchy comedy screenplay read, but didn't have much luck. Guess no one wanted a date with "the hottest old man on Santa Monica at 3am" in exchange for reading the screenplay. I'll continue to work it, though.
And the latest on Siege is the same as the oldest on Siege. Any day now, things are going crazy, its gonna be huge, biggest movie of 2004, yadda yadda yadda.
Anyhow... that's pretty much the latest. Sorry its been a bit slow lately, true believers. Things will pick back up soon, though, especially to hear Producer Dude tell it. And if not, we'll keep writing about not writing!
- Charlie
Blogged with Flock
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Comedy Not
Sad news Campers,
My Manager had her people read our awesome, can't-miss comedy and said, in so many words:
"Ppphhhtttttt."
Truth is, this was an uphill climb, because My Manager sees me as the Sci-Fi/Horror genre guy. So to throw a sex comedy in My Manager's face was daring, to say the least.
but My Manager has now passed on this script twice, and there will be no third time.
So where does that leave us? Well, we have a kick-ass, can't miss comedy script. So Charlie has entered it into a contest, we may enter it into others, we will continue to look for avenues and people to get it out to, but beyond that, we're scrapped.
Anyone want to make a raunchy, hilarious, can't-miss, kick-ass comedy? Probably cost under $5 million with the right cast. Done right, this baby'll rake it in at the box office.
Just like Siege...
Oh right. Siege. Here's the latest on that one.
Producer Dude said to me, just yesterday, that we are "Oh, so f%*@#ing close! Money is almost there! I'll be in touch with you guys so very, very soon!"
*sigh*
I thought making movies was supposed to be easy?
My Manager had her people read our awesome, can't-miss comedy and said, in so many words:
"Ppphhhtttttt."
Truth is, this was an uphill climb, because My Manager sees me as the Sci-Fi/Horror genre guy. So to throw a sex comedy in My Manager's face was daring, to say the least.
but My Manager has now passed on this script twice, and there will be no third time.
So where does that leave us? Well, we have a kick-ass, can't miss comedy script. So Charlie has entered it into a contest, we may enter it into others, we will continue to look for avenues and people to get it out to, but beyond that, we're scrapped.
Anyone want to make a raunchy, hilarious, can't-miss, kick-ass comedy? Probably cost under $5 million with the right cast. Done right, this baby'll rake it in at the box office.
Just like Siege...
Oh right. Siege. Here's the latest on that one.
Producer Dude said to me, just yesterday, that we are "Oh, so f%*@#ing close! Money is almost there! I'll be in touch with you guys so very, very soon!"
*sigh*
I thought making movies was supposed to be easy?
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Ping Pong to Ding Dong
I have finished my fantastic, uber-rewrite on the as-yet-untitled edible fruit/creeping vine/manufacturing sector sci-fi flick.
I have done good things. Not sure if I've done enough good things to make Charlie happy, let alone My Manager, who has agreed to read it when the sun finally dies out later this year.
It's tricky, because we've crafted a script that, truth be told, will kick ass on Sci-Fi Channel's Sci-Fi Saturday "The Most Dangerous Night on Television" but which probably would be found a little thin at the multiplex. Not that having a thin production has ever stopped some of the run-of-the-mill horror flicks that come and go unnoticed every month. (The Covenant, anyone?) But since Charlie and I are, well, nobody, we need to have something beyond the pale to get anyone's attention.
Will this get anyone's attention? Mayhaps. but first, I've got to get it past Charlie. Then we've got to get it past My Manager. That's easier said than done.
Still, it feels good to hand it off. There are some seriously cool stuff in the script. Images, sequences, and scenes that rock. It makes me happy to read it, and that's a good thing, right?
No it's on to the next great thing. I have a couple of projects for My Manager that I need to dive into. So I'll probably flip a coin, ignore the results, and work on whichever I feel like.
Rock on.
I have done good things. Not sure if I've done enough good things to make Charlie happy, let alone My Manager, who has agreed to read it when the sun finally dies out later this year.
It's tricky, because we've crafted a script that, truth be told, will kick ass on Sci-Fi Channel's Sci-Fi Saturday "The Most Dangerous Night on Television" but which probably would be found a little thin at the multiplex. Not that having a thin production has ever stopped some of the run-of-the-mill horror flicks that come and go unnoticed every month. (The Covenant, anyone?) But since Charlie and I are, well, nobody, we need to have something beyond the pale to get anyone's attention.
Will this get anyone's attention? Mayhaps. but first, I've got to get it past Charlie. Then we've got to get it past My Manager. That's easier said than done.
Still, it feels good to hand it off. There are some seriously cool stuff in the script. Images, sequences, and scenes that rock. It makes me happy to read it, and that's a good thing, right?
No it's on to the next great thing. I have a couple of projects for My Manager that I need to dive into. So I'll probably flip a coin, ignore the results, and work on whichever I feel like.
Rock on.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Hey! This doesn't suck!
So I've been doing my job for my half of this partnership and rewriting everything that Charlie wrote on our Monk/Sacred Couch/Blizzard/Tarzan remake. And you know what?
I like this script.
I mean it's silly. It's slightly implausible. It reeks of Charlie. But still, I like it.
So I'm rewriting like mad. And I like it even more. Not rewriting his stuff, at least not always, just... fixing scenes that never worked for me. Adding some things to fill out some ideas. Making the characters just a teensy bit more worthy and lovable and real.
And I still like it.
Granted, not as much as I like our comedy. Not quite as much as I like Siege. But this isn't a bad script. Not a bad story. It has some great bits in it, it keeps moving, it rocks, it rolls, it sways like a lover.
So I should finish my excellent rewriting this week, then send it back to Charlie, then, get this, send it to My Manager.My Manager's actually agreed to look at it. Of course, what we'll get back is a "You're kidding right? Trust me, drop this and work on the projects I tell you to work on. There's a good writer monkey."
But that counts as feedback, right?
Right?
I like this script.
I mean it's silly. It's slightly implausible. It reeks of Charlie. But still, I like it.
So I'm rewriting like mad. And I like it even more. Not rewriting his stuff, at least not always, just... fixing scenes that never worked for me. Adding some things to fill out some ideas. Making the characters just a teensy bit more worthy and lovable and real.
And I still like it.
Granted, not as much as I like our comedy. Not quite as much as I like Siege. But this isn't a bad script. Not a bad story. It has some great bits in it, it keeps moving, it rocks, it rolls, it sways like a lover.
So I should finish my excellent rewriting this week, then send it back to Charlie, then, get this, send it to My Manager.My Manager's actually agreed to look at it. Of course, what we'll get back is a "You're kidding right? Trust me, drop this and work on the projects I tell you to work on. There's a good writer monkey."
But that counts as feedback, right?
Right?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Screw It... Why Not...
So a couple of weeks ago I did something I never thought I'd do.
I've always poo-poo'ed the idea. It seemed too populist. Too... for the masses. I mean, if there was any value to it, it wouldn't be open to ever a-hole with a copy of Final Draft, right?
What'd I do, you ask?
What'd I do, Dave, no doubt, is asking?
Well... I entered our raunchy comedy, Murphy's Law, into a screenwriting competition.
Like I said - normally I'm not a fan. When was the last time you heard about a huge, box-office hit, with record-breaking grosses and star-making performances that came from a screenwriting competition?
Never. Right. Hell, not even Matt Damon and Ben Affleck could churn out a decent flick with Project Greenlight.
Still... I really like this dirty little comedy. It's funny, and it's earned a place in my heart, and... well... right now it's dead in the water. Dave's agent's cousin's valet's pimp has said he/she will give it a read, but beyond that, it's basically a doorstop. My film industry buddy read it and thought it was really funny, but wasn't sure he got what genre it is (have we harped enough yet on how befuddling this comment is?), so I'm not counting on him. That means either we hustle, or we add it to the stack of clunkers that were fun to write but never see celluloid.
And I'm not ready to let that happen yet. So I'm beating the bushes. Talking to people about it. Showing it to anyone that'll read it. And, yes... I've crossed that line and submitted it to a decent-sized competition, that judges both overall as well as genre features.
Here's hoping that there's a "Raunchy Teen Comedy With Natalie Portman Jokes and Gratuitous Use Of The Word 'C*ck'" genre.
- Charlie
I've always poo-poo'ed the idea. It seemed too populist. Too... for the masses. I mean, if there was any value to it, it wouldn't be open to ever a-hole with a copy of Final Draft, right?
What'd I do, you ask?
What'd I do, Dave, no doubt, is asking?
Well... I entered our raunchy comedy, Murphy's Law, into a screenwriting competition.
Like I said - normally I'm not a fan. When was the last time you heard about a huge, box-office hit, with record-breaking grosses and star-making performances that came from a screenwriting competition?
Never. Right. Hell, not even Matt Damon and Ben Affleck could churn out a decent flick with Project Greenlight.
Still... I really like this dirty little comedy. It's funny, and it's earned a place in my heart, and... well... right now it's dead in the water. Dave's agent's cousin's valet's pimp has said he/she will give it a read, but beyond that, it's basically a doorstop. My film industry buddy read it and thought it was really funny, but wasn't sure he got what genre it is (have we harped enough yet on how befuddling this comment is?), so I'm not counting on him. That means either we hustle, or we add it to the stack of clunkers that were fun to write but never see celluloid.
And I'm not ready to let that happen yet. So I'm beating the bushes. Talking to people about it. Showing it to anyone that'll read it. And, yes... I've crossed that line and submitted it to a decent-sized competition, that judges both overall as well as genre features.
Here's hoping that there's a "Raunchy Teen Comedy With Natalie Portman Jokes and Gratuitous Use Of The Word 'C*ck'" genre.
- Charlie
Blogged with Flock
Friday, August 10, 2007
Where It's At
Time for a big round-robin update on the writing stylings of Charlie and Dave, Partners in Fear.
We have this big comedy. It's funny. Honestly, people read it and tell us that it's damn funny. This makes us feel good. Giddy, even. So we gave the comedy to a guy Charlie knows who has worked in big-time comedy. His response?
"This is really funny. I don't know what genre it is, but it's very funny."
Uhm.... what genre? It's funny and you don't know the genre? How about... oh I don't know.... comedy?
But anyway. We're figuring that ship won't be sailing our way in the near future, so we've thought about what to do with this very funny script.
"But David!" you say, "You have a Manager and an Agent! Give it to them!"
Well, yeah. Except that My Manager loves me for my sci-fi/horror/fantasy. My Manager has other comedy clients, and Managers in general aren't keen to mix and match. But I finally sucked up my gut and asked My Manager if they would look at the script. The response?
"Sure. Send it over."
So OK, there's that. Sent it over, we'll probably hear something in about two weeks. Because everything takes two weeks in Hollywood. Part of the Space/Time Continuum thing.
(Side Note: How cool is the word "continuum?" It has two u's next to each other. Two u's!)
In the meantime, we're still waiting for Siege to bust out. We've been waiting (just so you know) for this particular project to bust out since December of 2005. That's becoming a long time ago. And yet, to quote Phil Collins (which I don't think people do often enough) We Wait and We Wonder.
In fact, I think I might have named another post with that very quote. Huh.
In other news, after months of banging on Charlie's Electronic door begging for an update on our Masonic/Fast Food/Frog-in-Blender/Jungle epic, it's my turn. I'm sitting on it. I should be working on it, but I am instead working on projects for My Manager that have nothing to do with Charlie.
I'm like that.
But it's near the top of the queue, so Charlie will just have to bear with me and shut the Hell up.
Beyond that, business as normal.
See.. if it's funny, it's probably a comedy. That's my thought.
*sigh*
We have this big comedy. It's funny. Honestly, people read it and tell us that it's damn funny. This makes us feel good. Giddy, even. So we gave the comedy to a guy Charlie knows who has worked in big-time comedy. His response?
"This is really funny. I don't know what genre it is, but it's very funny."
Uhm.... what genre? It's funny and you don't know the genre? How about... oh I don't know.... comedy?
But anyway. We're figuring that ship won't be sailing our way in the near future, so we've thought about what to do with this very funny script.
"But David!" you say, "You have a Manager and an Agent! Give it to them!"
Well, yeah. Except that My Manager loves me for my sci-fi/horror/fantasy. My Manager has other comedy clients, and Managers in general aren't keen to mix and match. But I finally sucked up my gut and asked My Manager if they would look at the script. The response?
"Sure. Send it over."
So OK, there's that. Sent it over, we'll probably hear something in about two weeks. Because everything takes two weeks in Hollywood. Part of the Space/Time Continuum thing.
(Side Note: How cool is the word "continuum?" It has two u's next to each other. Two u's!)
In the meantime, we're still waiting for Siege to bust out. We've been waiting (just so you know) for this particular project to bust out since December of 2005. That's becoming a long time ago. And yet, to quote Phil Collins (which I don't think people do often enough) We Wait and We Wonder.
In fact, I think I might have named another post with that very quote. Huh.
In other news, after months of banging on Charlie's Electronic door begging for an update on our Masonic/Fast Food/Frog-in-Blender/Jungle epic, it's my turn. I'm sitting on it. I should be working on it, but I am instead working on projects for My Manager that have nothing to do with Charlie.
I'm like that.
But it's near the top of the queue, so Charlie will just have to bear with me and shut the Hell up.
Beyond that, business as normal.
See.. if it's funny, it's probably a comedy. That's my thought.
*sigh*
Monday, August 06, 2007
An Important Message
I realize the stated mission of this blog is to talk about our writing endeavors, which most commonly manifests itself in the form of us bitching about how Siege will never get made.
Every once in awhile, though, I feel like we need to diverge from the writing world and focus on bigger issues.
For nearly 7 years, the United States of America has been governed by an admistration rife with ineptitude, croneyism, mismanagement, and secrecy. We've been led into a poorly planned and executed war, justified by mistruths and misrepresentations. With elections just over a year away, I think its critical that I turn my attention from the frivolity of entertainment and focus, with you indulgence, on a subject matter that really means something to the future. OUR future. I refer, of course, to Crocs.
Yes. Crocs.
Those craptacularly ugly plastic clogs that look like something my cat would poop out if he accidentally ate an industrial sized vat of neon orange rubber cement.
When did these things become so ubiquitous? I was out this weekend, and I swear, everywhere I turned people were wearing this unholy footwear. Men. Women. Children. Babies. Everyone was wearing them. How did we become a nation of Croc-wearers?
I mean, first off, they don't really look good on ANYONE. Men just look effeminate in them, mincing around in their naff frog-green rubber shoes. Women look manly in them, as they're big and clunky and look like something a burly Dutch beer-frau would wear while serving drinks in a crowded tent. Little boys look... well... not very BOY-like in them. That leaves little girls. The only acceptable market for Crocs, in my book, is little girls.
But you're all wearing them. And with socks, no less! What's that about? Looking like German tourists, lumbering around with black calf-high socks and a pair of pink rubber shoes underneath?
I'm told they're very popular with people in certain professions, because of their comfort. Nurses and doctors apparently love them. Sure... I can see that. Let's wear a shoe that's full of holes and open in the back as we walk around a germ-infested hospital, working with body fluids and blood and sharp instruments like scalpels and syringes and stuff. Stellar idea, Croc-wearing medical professionals.
Cooks, I'm told, also love them, thanks to that a-hole Mario Battali. Again, I can't begin to express how excited I am to know that the person preparing my $50 filet is clomping around my food all-but-barefoot, sweating away under a pair of PVC pumps. God forbid you drop a knife, because it'll GO RIGHT THROUGH THE HOLES into your sweaty foot.
And while I'm at it, what's the deal with Mario Battali? When did a 300 pound, red-headed, pasty-faced guy become Italian? I don't give a crap what his name is, that guy's as Irish as they come.
Where was I?? Oh yeah. America - can we please get past this fad and go back to wearing normal shoes? If I have to spend one more weekend looking at you in your horrid powder-blue galvanized Crocs, looking like a demented cross between the Little Dutch Boy and Corky from "Life Goes On," I may saw off my feet in protest.
Oh yeah... and vote Obama.
- Charlie
Every once in awhile, though, I feel like we need to diverge from the writing world and focus on bigger issues.
For nearly 7 years, the United States of America has been governed by an admistration rife with ineptitude, croneyism, mismanagement, and secrecy. We've been led into a poorly planned and executed war, justified by mistruths and misrepresentations. With elections just over a year away, I think its critical that I turn my attention from the frivolity of entertainment and focus, with you indulgence, on a subject matter that really means something to the future. OUR future. I refer, of course, to Crocs.
Yes. Crocs.
Those craptacularly ugly plastic clogs that look like something my cat would poop out if he accidentally ate an industrial sized vat of neon orange rubber cement.
When did these things become so ubiquitous? I was out this weekend, and I swear, everywhere I turned people were wearing this unholy footwear. Men. Women. Children. Babies. Everyone was wearing them. How did we become a nation of Croc-wearers?
I mean, first off, they don't really look good on ANYONE. Men just look effeminate in them, mincing around in their naff frog-green rubber shoes. Women look manly in them, as they're big and clunky and look like something a burly Dutch beer-frau would wear while serving drinks in a crowded tent. Little boys look... well... not very BOY-like in them. That leaves little girls. The only acceptable market for Crocs, in my book, is little girls.
But you're all wearing them. And with socks, no less! What's that about? Looking like German tourists, lumbering around with black calf-high socks and a pair of pink rubber shoes underneath?
I'm told they're very popular with people in certain professions, because of their comfort. Nurses and doctors apparently love them. Sure... I can see that. Let's wear a shoe that's full of holes and open in the back as we walk around a germ-infested hospital, working with body fluids and blood and sharp instruments like scalpels and syringes and stuff. Stellar idea, Croc-wearing medical professionals.
Cooks, I'm told, also love them, thanks to that a-hole Mario Battali. Again, I can't begin to express how excited I am to know that the person preparing my $50 filet is clomping around my food all-but-barefoot, sweating away under a pair of PVC pumps. God forbid you drop a knife, because it'll GO RIGHT THROUGH THE HOLES into your sweaty foot.
And while I'm at it, what's the deal with Mario Battali? When did a 300 pound, red-headed, pasty-faced guy become Italian? I don't give a crap what his name is, that guy's as Irish as they come.
Where was I?? Oh yeah. America - can we please get past this fad and go back to wearing normal shoes? If I have to spend one more weekend looking at you in your horrid powder-blue galvanized Crocs, looking like a demented cross between the Little Dutch Boy and Corky from "Life Goes On," I may saw off my feet in protest.
Oh yeah... and vote Obama.
- Charlie
Blogged with Flock
Friday, August 03, 2007
Better Than Sex (With or Without Lindsay Lohan)
One of the great feelings in the world is finishing up a writing assignment when you have a writing partner. I vaguely remember what sex feels like, and it's at least that good.
The rush of accomplishment. The buzz of completion. The high of being able to send it out.
And, unlike sex, I can relish the joy of it for at least a day or so before my partner weighs in with disappointment.
Dave'll get my emailed copy of the un-named Donkey-punching/weigh-loss-drama/Sirk-melodrama/soccer-playing-dog screenplay... he'll be excited to know I've completed it. He'll read it. THEN he'll feel some pangs of dissapointment. Then he'll drop me a congratulatory email with some words of encouragement ("Don't worry... it happens to all writers every now and then... you were probably just nervous or drunk..."). Then he'll do his obligatory rewrites of my rewrites. And then we'll be done.
Yes. Light on the horizon for this pass at this script!! I mean... how long have we all watched me post about finishing this f*cker now? MONTHS! And its done! Done, I tell you!!
I'm gonna go have a smoke.
- Charlie
The rush of accomplishment. The buzz of completion. The high of being able to send it out.
And, unlike sex, I can relish the joy of it for at least a day or so before my partner weighs in with disappointment.
Dave'll get my emailed copy of the un-named Donkey-punching/weigh-loss-drama/Sirk-melodrama/soccer-playing-dog screenplay... he'll be excited to know I've completed it. He'll read it. THEN he'll feel some pangs of dissapointment. Then he'll drop me a congratulatory email with some words of encouragement ("Don't worry... it happens to all writers every now and then... you were probably just nervous or drunk..."). Then he'll do his obligatory rewrites of my rewrites. And then we'll be done.
Yes. Light on the horizon for this pass at this script!! I mean... how long have we all watched me post about finishing this f*cker now? MONTHS! And its done! Done, I tell you!!
I'm gonna go have a smoke.
- Charlie
Blogged with Flock
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