In My Defense…

So as Dave previously mentioned, I recently finished a rewrite of my own work. And as he so diplomatically noted, I put together a super compelling scene in our Shogun/forbidden-love/mountain-climbing/Gulf War/romantic-comedy screenplay, and sent if off to him, smug that I’d finished several pages.

And, as you saw, he callously tossed it back, pointing out a minor flaw in the entire direction I’d taken the script in.

In my defense, though, what we had was a little confusing.

Say, for example, our script were taking place in the Holland Tunnel in NYC. Dave writes a great scene in which our characters struggle to get through traffic, Frogger-style, ducking semis, taxis, and screaming New Yorkers of all sorts, as the ceiling caves in. Scary, scary, stuff. And I don’t want to give anything away, but I bet someone gets run over.

Anyhow… so they make it to the other side of the tunnel, breathlessly resting at a passageway entrance.

CUT TO:

Charlie writing a scene.

I read this, and misinterpret where he’s left off as the entrance to ANOTHER tunnel. Not the one they’re in. So I write a scene with them speeding down a branching lane of the Holland Tunnel on hoverboards, escaping the…erm… let’s say… Morlocks… and... um... Zombie New Yorkers… yeah - drooling, maniacal, "how-ya-dooin'" spouting Zombie New Yorkers that are chasing them.

Easy enough. But then I find out that there is no branching lane. No second tunnel. There’s just that one tunnel. And now its closed off, because of the cave-in.

I was thinking Snake Pliskin, and Dave was channeling Stallone in “Daylight.”

See? Not as cut and dried as boarding an exploding plane, huh?

Anyhow… I rewrote it. Amazing how someone just happened to leave jackhammers, goggles, a backhoe, and three sticks of dynamite laying around in our metaphorical Holland Tunnel, huh?

I think we’re back on track. I’ve once again smugly sent it off to Dave, who’s too busy vacationing in the Hamptons with his family, manager, agent, accountant, and manservant, Maurice, to actually read it, much less write the next bit.

In the meantime, then, I may just write the next scene, even though it ain’t my turn.

Yeah… I’m crazy. I roll like that.

Now… let’s see… did I leave off with them boarding the plane full of snakes, or escaping Lex Luthor on a pirate ship?

Charlie

Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, Lex Luthor, Dave's Hampton's Palace