Once More Unto the Breech

Hi. My name is David Neilsen, and I write movies.

Lots of people write movies, actually, so I'm nothing special. What sets me apart from most is that I've had a movie made. One. It's called The Eliminator, and you should order it on Netflix, buy it from Amazon.com, or rent it from Blockbuster.

Not because it's any good mind you. But because I wrote it, and it got made. And theoretically I get some sort of backend three decades down the line.

I have a friend, a young man named Charlie Flint who you will all come to like a lot more than you like me. He also writes movies. However, unless I'm totally wrong about this, he's never had one made.

But that's going to change.

It all starts when my contacts came rumbling to me about the desire to make another film. My friend the Producer (I'll call him "Producer Dude" for now) called me up.

"David. I need another script. All the scripts I have are horrible."

"Producer Dude, you have, like, three more of my scripts sitting around."

"As I said, all the ones I have are horrible. I need a new one that I can shoot very quickly. It should be exciting, filled with action, explosions, crazy stunts, great visuals, leave room for a sequel, and take place in one location."

"..."

"Still there?"

"...Let me get back to you."

Now normally, I'd jump on this all my own and craft a masterpiece in e-flat and that's that. But not this time. This time I realized that a) I didn't want to go through this alone, b) I had a good friend who would be awesome to work with again, and c) my wife was having a baby in a couple months. C, of course, meant that I wasn't going to have the time I'd normally have to spit this script out. All things pointed to me roping in my friend to write this with me. So I gave him a call. (or rather, an IM.)

"Hi Charlie. Want to write a movie for Producer Dude with me?"

"Will we get paid?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"No."

"Will it get made?"

"Eventually."

"Doesn't he have, like, three other scripts of yours sitting on the shelf?"

"Don't go there."

"Cool. I'm in."

So there you go. The die was cast. I contacted Producer Dude and said we were game. We'd write his movie. It would be exciting. Filled with action. All that stuff. And it'd be done lickity-split.

Now all we needed was a story...