Being Used Can Be Fun

Being a much better and more accomplished writer than Charlie, good things happen to me all the time.

- People shove copies of The Eliminator in my face, hoping for an autograph. (Fat chance!)

- I get invited to hot events, like most of Paris' parties (I had to miss the bondage/shopping spree fest), advanced screenings of the latest blockbusters (Curious George rocks!), and Kate and Tom's baby shower (Got to use the sonogram!).

- People give me free things all the time. (Haven't paid for groceries in years!)

So it was no surprise when a big-time Hollywood manager called me up the other day.

NOTE: The following story is true. Most of what I wrote above is, well, not true.

Though I DID go to the premiere of Curious George. And it does rock.

A friend handed off some of my writing to a manager-friend of theirs a while back. Said Manager, who shall remain nameless, read my writing and liked it. I had a nice meeting with Said Manager. We've kept in touch, but nothing overly impressive has come of it to this point. I.E. Said Manager has not actually signed me up as a client yet. Hope springs eternal.

But Said Manager called me up last week.

"David, Said Manager here."

"Hi, Said."

"I have a meeting with Sci-Fi Channel and I need some ideas to pitch them for TV Movies. You're my go-to guy for Sci-Fi. Do you know Sci-Fi Channel? You got anything I can bring to them?"

Do I know Sci-Fi Channel? Am I obsessed with Sci-Fi Fridays? Did I hurl a cushion at the screen when Battlestar Galactica announced that it'd return in October, a full 7 months from now? Have I noticed that they seem stuck in a rut with their TV Movies? (Manticore! Minotaur! Cerebus! Mammoth!) Did I actually sit through that really bad Dungeons and Dragons made-for-cable sequel they pushed on us a while back? Do I admit to seeing the first Dungeons and Dragons movie in the theaters?

"Yeah, I know the channel. I can come up with some ideas for you."

"Great, email them to me in 20 minutes, ok?"

I know I'm being used, here. I know Said Manager probably hung up with me and called 10 other desperate writers with the same story. I know we all gave Said Manager 3 or 4 or, in my case 5 TV Movie ideas and that Said Manager went into the meeting, chose the best 3 from the 20 that were submitted, and pitched away. I know that the odds that one of mine made the cut are minimal.

But dudes. I kinda, sorta, pitched Sci-Fi Channel! Woo!

If, Lord Almighty Gandalf willing, Sci-Fi liked one of my ideas and wanted to go for it, wouldn't that be sweet? I'll answer that.

Yes, it would be sweet.

So naturally, here's hoping they got excited over my pitch for "Mermaid!" I see Bruce Campbell and Lucy Lawless as the leads. With that chick from Roswell as the evil, killer mermaid. Think I got a chance?