Meeting Expectations

Don't tell Charlie, but there's apparently a bunch of people salivating over this Siege script without having actually ever seen it.

Producer Dude is being very good, not asking for the script before showing us the money, but he's not hesitant in letting me know how everyone and their mother is all a-gog over this Pulitzer Prize winning opus we've created.

The Distributors are excited about it. They'd love to see it. The money people have heard how wonderful it is. Producer Dude's team is ready to break it down, budget it, etc. Hell, even the friggin' ACTORS are all on board and can't wait to see the script. One of the leading ladies stopped by Producer Dude's house looking for a copy of the script, not believing that he didn't have it yet. They've got a couple of ALMOST-names hanging by a thread, all set to sign off on it as soon as they see the script.

No pressure or anything.

I mean yipes folks, no one has seen this but Charlie and Me. For all we know, it could be crap. Producer Dude could take one look at it, turn up his nose in disgust, and curse our names from here to eternity. We could be burned in effigy for our efforts. The entire B-movie (C-movie?) world could spurn us, turn us into a laughing stock, the punchline of a cruel joke.

"You remember what happened to those boobs who wrote Siege?"

"Didn't they end up shoveling camel dung in the Sahara for a living?"

"Not so much shoveling as picking up with their bare hands."

"Ah."

This is one of my issues with Producer Dude. He likes everything, he trusts just about everybody, he has unalterable faith in those he knows. Admirable traits, but man you just want to smack him on the noggin every now and then out of frustration and angst. He's so sure that this is a fine script, so sure that we've done a good job, that's he's gone and told everyone what a great script he has, how it's the perfect movie for the budget, how it'll be easy to make, how it'll make a ton of money. And the thing about Producer Dude is.. people believe him. So they think this script is great. If it isn't top notch, do you think they're gonna say:

"Producer Dude! Why did you tell us this was good? It's homogenized feces!"

No. They're gonna say:

"Feeble writers! Thou art hereby banish-ed from our sight. Be gone! And no more cookies!"

So we've got our little Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.

Now truthfully, I think we're fine. The script is a wonder of modern C-movie magic waiting to happen. It dodges, it weaves, it runs and jumps, it folds, spindles, and mutilates. It is Da Bomb. Well, maybe not Da Bomb. Maybe da bomb. Or even the bomb. But there's bombiness about. In a good way.

I mean Producer Dude HAS read a treatment. So he knows, more or less, what happens. So we're not going to get the angry emails demanding to know where the huge slot car chase has gone. But has he read one line of dialogue? Well, unless he looks at our site (probably not) he hasn't. That means YOU, dear readers have a better idea of the ultimate quality of our script than the people poised to drop close to half a million bucks on it.

I hope you're happy with yourselves.

Newest update: Movement continues, money should be in Producer Dude's hands (and then in ours) by Feb. 20th at the latest.

Wish us luck.

Tags: b movie