...and coming...

So I have our next interview. With someone who works in Hollywood, has a real job, and is, like, really cool.

I have to transcribe it, then send it back to them so they can say "OK, you can put that online, just cut out the bit where I talk about the hooker."

Yeah, our subject is big enough that he cares what we say. How cool is that?

But we're still open to talking to the little people, so drop us a line if you want free press.

OK, I'm off. Just wanted to tease you like Sarah Hitchens used to do in high School.

Gotta run. Wonder Pets is over.

Coming Attractions

I'm still sitting on the unnamed Rear-Window remake/skating comedy/animated feature that Dave tossed over a few weeks ago. I NEED to move my ass, I just haven't.

I'm a bad person, I know. This weekend, hopefully.

In the meantime, we haven't just been sitting around. As I mentioned, I cajoled the raunchy comedy screenplay into the hands of the CEO of a Major Comedy Brand, and we've been waiting with baited breath for his response. I spoke with him yesterday and it went something like this...

"Hey CEO Buddy! How are you?!"

"Good, man. You?"

"Um... good. How was your trip last week. Do anything fun? Read anything good, maybe?"

"Oh, yeah... the trip was good, thanks."

"Right. But did you... you know... Read anything notable?"

"I read a crappy James Patterson novel."

"Uh huh. And that's it?"

"The paper, every day. Have to stay in touch."

"Right. And nothing else?"

"Not that I can think of. Why?"

"Screenplay, dude."

"What?

"THE FREAKING SCREENPLAY I SENT YOU!!!"

"Oh, yeah! Um... yeah. I haven't read it yet."

"Oh. Ok."

"So how was your week, Charlie?"

"Huh? Yeah, dude. Whatever. Look, I gotta run. Gimme a call once you read that script."

"Wha..."



In unrelated news, look for our latest interview, which should be published sometime next week, with the CEO of a Major Comedy Brand.

Charlie

Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, script, movies

Only So Many Jokes in the Universe

So as we've told you. Charlie took my laugh-out-loud comedy script, punched it up, sent it back to me, I punched it up more, then he sent it to a really awesome dude he met in a chat room.

This is a story about one of those punches.

Charlie took a scene that was funny, and added something even funnier to it. I then took his funnier bit, and made it even more hilarious. In that format, that bit in that scene was included in the script that went off to that creepy Internet stalker.

About a week late,r I'm sitting at home late one night and watching the Adam Sandler film Click on DVD. I had never seen Click before, my wife never saw it. I don't know anyone who saw it. But it was supposed to be funny, and it was available at the library (which means FREE!).

And there's a scene in Click that is QUITE similar to the hilarious scene I referred to above.

So what do you do? The scene is not exact. The punchline on the particular joke is different (and they drag the bit on way too long). But the set-up is nearly identical. The subject of the joke is identical. The humor behind the joke is identical.

So, like, it's been done.

Do we now have to take that joke out of our script? I say no. Lots of movies share jokes. Give yourself a few minutes and you'll come up with examples off the top of your head. (I'd do the work for you, but I'm lazy.) There are only so many jokes in the world. I think they did a study and the exact number is somewhere around 837. That someone else thought of the same joke we came up with only means we're on to something. Right?

Right?

In God's Hands...

So the raunchy comedy is now in the hands of the CEO of a major comedy brand.

I did a light polish (truth is, it was pretty solid to begin with in my eyes) and sent it to Dave. Dave then did what he does best... changes back most of what I've messed with.

Eh. It was his first, so that was cool by me. Plus we had a pressing need to get it into the hands of said CEO so he could read it this week while travelling.

Now... I have to admit to cheating a bit here. Major Comedy Brand CEO is a dear friend of mine. Love the guy like a brother. And, as it goes with family, you lean on them to read your stuff. So... he agreed to read the screenplay. More than anything, I'm hoping he'll give us some really solid feedback so we can polish it further. But, of course, if he reads it and loves it, then Dave and I would be extra happy. And since he's family, he'll be honest, so now we're just waiting for him to finish.

While I'm waiting I'm supposed to be working on the un-titled double-feature/talking-dog/Ice-Cube-family comedy that we've been working on for so long. SUPPOSED TO BE. I haven't gotten to it yet, unfortunately.

What have I been doing? Not eating.

This has nothing to do with B Movies, of course, but I'm in a bragging mood.

By virtue of not eating, and exercising a lot, I've managed to drop 30 pounds in the last 6 weeks or so. I'm shooting for 10 more.

That said, if BIG COMEDY BRAND CEO comes back to us, loves the raunchy comedy, and wants to buy it...

I'm eating a freaking cake.

Charlie


Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, script, movies

Laugh, and the world gives you money

So Charlie sent me the raunchy sex comedy that I gave him to update and revise a while back. And you know what? It's funny. And it's not just me saying this. Charlie says it's funny. And the people that Charlie has sent it to for notes have say it is funny. And I re-read it and laughed out loud a number of times. It's funny.

So naturally, I gave it a rewrite/polish. Now it's even funnier. Sent it back to Charlie. Let him run with it. He has some peeps he wants to shuffle it over to, peeps from a different life who know or are or have heard of people who could do something with it.

But don't tell My Manager.

See, about a year ago, I sent the script over to My Manager. They read it. They said "Eh." Then they said, "You're a horror/suspense guy. stick to that. Don't waste any time working on this."

So I sent it to Charlie and said, "I'm not working on this. You go work on it."

And he dusted it for fingerprints and added a gerund or two. Now it's got heat. Now it may hit eyes that could shower us with dollars. But I ain't mentioned to My Manager that I did anything with it. Because I'm the horror/suspense guy. And I'm nervous. See, I didn't, actually, do any work on it after My Manager told me not to. So I haven't disobeyed My Manager. But the script has found a life without me. And my name is on it. So eventually, if something were to happen, say Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington decided to team up for a raunchy sex-comedy with Helen Mirren and Mandy Moore, then I'd probably have to mention something to My Manager.

And we'll see how that goes.

But for now, Huzzah! We have funny script! We rock!

The world needs more laughter. Especially laughter mixed in with sex jokes.

Passing the Buck

So I've been furiously writing on the Casablanca remake/eco-drama/teenage sex romp that we've been working on. My plan was to go through the entire thing, fix characters, move the big reveal up, make it good. But skip over the one scene that I want Charlie to do because.. well.. a) I'm lazy and b) he has to do something if he wants to keep his name on it, right?

That scene is about 2/3 of the way through the script. So I got to that point. Then, being extremely clever and witty, wrote something like "HERE CHARLIE WRITES A FANTASTIC SCENE THAT PROBABLY INVOLVES A LESBIAN SEX SCENE" and skipped to the next scene.

But then I started finding all sorts of dialogue and motivation that was based on what happened in that scene. Hurt feelings from those left out of the orgy, degrading YouTube footage, moist toys, what have you. And I realized that, damn it, I need to know what happens in that scene in order to move forward.

So I punted back to Charlie. He can take it from here.

I told him I just need him to do the aforementioned missing scene, but deep down, and don't tell him (Charlie, if you're reading this, skip ahead to the next paragraph) I'm hoping he'll take it and run. He's a good writer (PLEASE don't let him know I said that) and has a lot of really good ideas, even if not as many deal with lesbians as I think they should. So we'll see what he does.

Meanwhile, hearing that Charlie got positive feedback on our raunchy comedy brings a smile to my face. Fingers crossed, let's see what else we get back on it and then see what kind of notes we get and then see how Charlie runs with those notes and then see how the intended target of this script reacts. At that point, if the target likes it, I should probably tell My Manager that the script went out. I fully intend to tell them, I'm just.. dragging my feet a bit. NO use bucking the system before there's a need.

Because My Manager specifically told me not to spend time on that comedy. They want me to be the dark/horror/supernatural writer in their stable. So fine, I'm not working on it. I just handed it to Charlie and said "God be with you." So I haven't actually spent any time working on it. It's working on it's own. Meanwhile, I finished up the 8th version of the TV treatment (the changes between version 7 and version 8? A couple of words.) and by later today, it should be back in the hands of the Big Production Company that is all over this like honey on my prom date.

Things are moving. My balls are in the air. Also similar to my memories of prom.

Rock on.

Early Reviews Are In...

So as Dave's previously mentioned, I've been working on a punch-up of a raunchy-comedy that he wrote a few years ago.

I remember when I first read it maybe 5 or 6 years ago... I thought it was VERY funny and VERY raunchy. Dave made more use of a term for male genitalia that rhymes with "sock" in that screenplay than I'd ever seen in a 90 minute period. Well... except maybe in Golden Boyz III.

So anyhow, we've resurrected it. I've done a first pass edit and sent out to a few people for feedback. This morning a colleague, and fellow screenwriter, came by my desk after sitting on the thing for weeks.

"Charlie... I don't know what you're worried about with this script. This is freaking hilarious. I LOVED it. I laughed my ass off over this thing."

I was incredulous. "Really? Like... LOVED it? Yer just being nice, right?"

But no. He really thought it was great. This guy, who used to work in TV, went on to say he thought it was one of the better written, punchier, wittier comedy screenplays he's seen in awhile. And while he's not exactly sitting at ICM making decisions, he is a guy with decent taste.

So... I think we have something worth showing around, maybe.

He's going to give me detailed notes, and I'm still hoping for a few more, and then I'll punch it up some more.

And then it'll go out by any possible means available. Wrapped in a Buy-1-Get-1 coupon for The Cheetah in Hollywood and tossed thru the door of CAA. Slipped through Chris Moore's barely open convertible ragtop. Buried under a dime of blow in the mens's room at Nobu. Whatever it takes, man.

Meanwhile, Dave's just finishing up HIS pass at a rewrite on the un-named Copacabana/Latin-American-Revolutionaries/Murder-She-Wrote-Remake screenplay. He's giving the characters some much needed depth, and then will hand off to me for some further tweakage:

"Hey Charlie - what could we have eat this one chick if it isn't a giant tentacle monster? My guy says tentacle monsters are played out."

"Really? I love tentacle monsters. I dunno... lemme think..."

"Ok dude. Its yours. I'll save that part for you."

And so it goes.

Charlie


Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, script, movies, Tentacle Monsters