When Self-Doubt Attacks

Last night I was giving my Mom the update on Siege. The Big Company. Producer Dude. May/June start date. Blah blah blah. In classic Mom fashion, she responded with amazement at our roller-coaster ride.

"My goodness, Charlie. After all this craziness and waiting, I sure hope its good when it finally comes out!"

Which, of course, immediately sent me spiraling into a self-flagellating tailspin of doubt and worry.

I mean... the screenplay's now been read by enough outside parties that I believe it reads halfway decent. Its no Citizen Kane, God knows, but its got the making of a fun, exciting action flick.

But who knows how it might play out on screen. Even if it were produced by Michael Bay, some of the banter between characters could come off as cheesy, not cheeky, once projected. The big action sequences that to us are supposed to feel claustrophobic could instead feel just... small. Our heroes and characters could come out not feeling "larger than life," but more... "dumber than sticks."

And even if the script IS good to go, there's so much else that can go wrong. Bad directing. Bad acting. Bad editing. Bad post. I mean... we have helicopters blowing up here... and since I know that Producer Dude ain't buying helicopters to blow up, one bad CGI artist could screw us.

I've seen Producer Dude's other work. He's got some good, fun stuff out there. And then again... some of its... you know... not so much any of that. Luckily, the more recent stuff seems stronger than the older. He's on a roll.

Still... what happens a year from now if, against all odds, this thing finally gets shot and sees the light of day? I cringe thinking about the posts on this site from Tim or Grubber or Eric somewhere down the road that're like... "YOU MOTHERF**KERS! I WANT THE $15.99 I WASTED ON THE PIECE OF CELLULOID ASS KNOWN AS THE SIEGE DVD BACK!!"

In calmer, more lucid moments I realize that a script is like a child. You try to raise it the best you can - instill good values, teach it right, and give it lots of love.

And if it grows up to be a meth-dealing, glue-sniffing, satan-worshipping, sodomist street-walker crackwhore... well... you can at least know you did everything possible.

I send you into the world a babe, Siege. Come back to me a man.

- Charlie

Keywords: b movie, Siege, screenwriting, screenplay, scriptwriter, script, movies